Girls these days dont make it through their youth unscathed. They dont survive childhood without finding something in the mirror to change


I watched you tonight , staring at yourself in the mirrow in a gleeful awe. You twirled in delight over the little white dress I got you, well my sweet girl,I got you that because you always pick on stuff with shades of white and my love you looked so beautiful. And yea as u said pink is not the only colour for princesses. And the little puff I held your afro in.

Just last night you were asking me why you are the only one in school whose hair is not relaxed and straightened. Well, baby girl, I remember I told you that you not everyone my sweet girl, you are Iris. I saw you smile as you checked yourself out and ran your little fingers in your curls, and batted your beautiful huge round eyes which finally caught me staring and you said,”I pretty , mommy” and I said, “Yes my love, you gonna be the prettiest girl today in your pre-school bowl”. And you ran and put your tiny arms in mine all ecstatic. Theres no greater joy my love than to see you so happy and confident as a woman.

But my love, somehow in there I had questions that made my eyes and wet. Baby , as I watched you confident about the little girl staring back at you from the mirror, I wondered how long it might be before the confidence breaks into shards and fades away. Before you start picking the image apart into tiny pieces, instead of glorifying her up the way you did tonight.

That you are the most beautiful woman. That your roundface is perfect and your large eyes, chubby cheeks, full lips, kinky hair, alittle nose and baby your eyebrow is alittle sharply raised, hahahah, yea I know but its kinda our thing grandma , you and I. It makes us stand out from everyone else, it makes our eyes sparkle. My little Iris I want you to always see the beauty I see in you both inside and out.

My sweetgirl I havent changed a thing about you since you came into this world, thats why i never relaxed your hair and nobody should make you second guess your kinky wavy african crown. In Americanah – a book by chimamanda Ngozi she says,

relaxing your hair is like being in prison.Your caged in. your hair rules dont go running with cart because you dont wanna sweat out this straightness.And thats not what it was created to be.

I want you to remember that the things that seem like weaknesses, that seem like weird things that make you strange- when you become my age and get into the world, youre gonna find out that all those are your greatest strengths.Never forget to pray to God and thank Him for His blessings and the gift of life through your daddy and I.

I know as you grow older, you’ll get brainwashed by societie’s expectations . And since you are a girl its standards of you ars wicked and destructive. Perfection standards of weight, body shape and unattainable ideals. And as years are going by , the poison is gonna catch up with you and this will eat up your self-esteem little by little or take it all at once.

My sweetgirl when that time comes, and you find yourself in the mirror yearning for bigger breasts, loathing the sharp curve of your eyebrow or the colour of your eyes or frowning at the texture of your hair. Darling I hope you remember how beautiful mommy says you are. And that beauty wont just come from the physical image in the mirror, but more from your kindness towards others, your empathy and compasion.just look at your image and smile!

Somehow you will start attending parties where alcohol will be flowing, marijuana and sheesha everywhere and inhibitions will be lowered. You have to be on the look out for boys who wont respect you. Those who think you owe them something for flirting with them. Nobody’s filthy hands should touch your body without your concent.

I pray that you grow to be a very strong and confident woman , God-fearing and hardworking and above all my little angel love the skin you are in. And hey I know my nose percing fascinates you, you’ll get one when you become old enough, hahahahaha. And oh, my sweetgirl after you read this go listen to my all time favourites scars to your beautiful by Alessia Cara.